There, their, they're. Don't be afraid of a little dangling participle.

Prepping for Med School

   The disappearance of a blog about nothing can easily go unnoticed. Therefore, I feel no need to make a fussy announcement that I have returned, since I am ending an absence that you may not have realized existed.

   Question: Can an absence really exist? Isn't an absence, by nature, non-existent? More importantly, did you notice that I completed a record two lines before straying from the topic? Writing a blog is like riding a bike. Once you learn to be really bad at it, you never forget.

 
   Anyway, here I am. I myself would not even have noticed that I have been gone. I have been far too busy with school to realize I haven't seen me lately. Not that I was actually attending school, because that would have been uncharacteristically productive. I have instead been so overwhelmed making decisions regarding universities, programs, school bumper sticker options, etc., that I have neglected everyone I know, not to mention even the most basic personal hygiene. 

   

   Thankfully, I have finally made my decision. In fact, I have made it several hundred times in the last week alone, confidently announcing repeatedly that now I know (really for sure this time not like last time when I only SAID I was sure) what I want to be when I grow up. Sound familiar, college freshmen? Well, let me give you a tip: Make up your mind before you are dead. Because it's hard to fill out college major applications then.

   So, I bravely decided on an Interdisciplinary Studies major. The degree that proudly proclaims to prospective employers, "I cannot make a decision to save my life. I spent two hours picking earrings for this interview. Please hire me so I will not continue to be a wart on the forefinger of society. Or should I say the thumb? I can't really decide which metaphor would be more fitting..."


   Because I fear leaving the house just slightly more than I fear computer information technology, my concentration subject is... Computer Information Technology. I chose this mostly because I can do it from home in my Simpson's pajamas, which is all anyone wants in a job anyway.

  I decided on an English minor for two reasons. First, the U.S. Government Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS) predicts a downward spiral for editing employment opportunities. Like, editors in the near future can expect to be used as fish bait. 

So I expect an excellent outcome.

   Next, I love the idea of spending thousands of hours mastering a language that changes every five minutes, and pretty much stunk to begin with. I think American English was invented by the same folks who gave us the Pinto automobile. It was built of leftover parts from foreign countries, and held together with duct tape. (The language, I mean. The car may have had some merits, but I can't really be sure because I never seem to see them around anymore.) It is a hot mess.

I love it.

   So, I have my life plan firmly nailed in place. Although, upon further consideration, I am considering a switch to something more promising, such as Origins of the College-Ruled Spiral-Bound Notebook, with a Minor in History of Looseleaf Binder Paper.  The BLS actually seems pretty optomistic about that one.

   I would love to hear what path you all took (or are taking) in your education. Horror stories, in particular, are always welcome...