Natural Vs. Nurtured Insanity. I'll Donate Some of Both.

So... I am still contemplating a response to the query I presented in yesterday's post, which you have undoubtedly been mulling over until it has driven you quite crazy. If it has not, the reason for your peace of mind is obviously that you forgot the question already, in which case I am not going to remind you because you have injured my sensitive feelings with your lack of attention. And, you will have to look it up yourself. And then tell me your findings.

   Of course I am just jerking your chain. I am simply in no position to be answering any difficult questions. I just finished reading Oscar the Grouch bedtime stories, after which I desperately searched the Nickelodeon channels for a Spongebob Marathon. (Do not bother leaving this page to go find it, because it is not on right now. Otherwise, I obviously would not be composing this demented drivel, because I would have more pressing activities to pursue.) My children are in bed, folks. This is what I do for brain exercise at the end of a mentally challenging day. Who am I to open a psychology textbook and try to learn anything?

 
Because we have both already forgotten it, let me remind us that the issue I raised was that of "nature vs. nurture," and whether my children's personalities will be based more on their genetic inheritance or my example. I do not know if it is my chromosomes that have resulted in my children's characteristics, or if I should be congratulating my "creative" parenting style.

Isn't this DNA pretty?
It is not mine.

   Examined under a microscope, surely my genes would all be running around in a state of panic, wondering if they had left their cell phones back at the gene pool, and refusing to let their children near the DNA ladder because they were afraid they would fall off. Examined under the naked eye, I am usually behaving in a similar fashion. My nerves are so tightly wound that when they finally (and inevitably) snap... Okay, I am really running out of lame places to go with these metaphors. Just understand that my psychological health is tenuous at best. Tenuous, like my tightly wound nerves.

    I am going to analyze some of the comments coming out of the mouths of my offspring, as well as their visible actions, and their implications. I feel qualified to ascertain whether or not they are gleaning more from my behavior or my genetic makeup, because I am the kind of educated individual who uses words like "ascertain" and "gleaning." So, in the coming days' writings, I am going to break out some of the all-time best kid quotes and interpret them with my expertise. It should be very informative, and you will not want to miss it, unless of course you have ANYTHING else to do.