Happy birthday to one of Utah's greatest natural resources: The Husband. Not only mine. Certainly, many other Utah husbands are celebrating birthdays today, as marriage is very popular here, and from the number of children running around there must be many men to father them, right? (No poligamy jokes, please. I have already used and copyrighted them all.) So, from the bottom of my heart, to all the fine husbands, I say: "Please make up your mind what you want to do for your birthday next year. Begin now."
For over a decade of marriage, my long-suffering spouse has tolerated my lack of interest in... well, pretty much anything interesting. Don't even get me started on my pathological indecisiveness. I want to watch ID...no, the History Channel. No, too stimulating. Maybe some E! Entertainment Television. During the occasional power outage, I read the magazine equivalents of these television shows. If I am feeling more frisky, I dive into some Dickens or Bronte. I am a living, (barely) breathing sedative, and I cannot even decide which type of sedative to be. Today, my husband exacted his revenge.
We drove from one venue to another, while he tried to decide what he wished to do on his perfect day. We wasted precious grandparental babysitting time to drag the interstate, trying to find something appealing. It took hours to pick a mediocre movie, accompanied by some mediocre candy.
I hate to give negative reviews, because if I can't say something nice, I don't feel I have the right to speak, but I will say that "Now You See Me" was not totally horrible, but was not worth the three hours it took to decide to see it. I didn't even quite understand the movie until an hour later, when I suddenly squealed and clapped my hands like a seal in the middle of the grocery store and exclaimed, "Oh, I GET it now!" OK, that did not happen. But given the movie plot and my social ineptness, this is a totally plausible story. I will also caution you that while Red Vines are the most wonderful candy since sugar was invented, Grape Vines are not a good alternative. Stick to cherry. I also think watermelon would be good. Let's discuss this in depth, and give our input to the candy people so they do not try the grape thing again.
Anyway, my sweet hubby, I hope you enjoyed your special day. You are some kind of awesome, and I feel extremely blessed to know you. I feel even more blessed that you agreed to marry me and have stuck to your word all these years. Because, after today, I have some idea of what it is like to be married to me. And, I have to say, it takes nerves of steel and the heart of a saint. Or, the constitution of a living, (barely) breathing sedative.
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